


when five fell (in love)

by DozingDoves



Series: senses [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: 5+1 Things, Angst, Existential Angst, M/M, OR IS IT, Relationship Study, Unrequited Love, before relationship study?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-17
Updated: 2015-10-17
Packaged: 2018-04-26 17:27:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,062
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5013511
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DozingDoves/pseuds/DozingDoves
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>eyes, hands, ears, nose, heart. </p><p>OR</p><p>the one where Iwaizumi breaks his own heart through the power of existential angst.</p>
            </blockquote>





	when five fell (in love)

**Author's Note:**

> The title is to say that five parts of Iwaizumi fell in love with Oikawa. His eyes, his nose, his hands, his ears, and his heart. Note that taste is the only of the 5 senses that is missing, replaced by Iwaizumi's heart. The topic of "taste" will be touched later on. These 5 things that fell in love with Oikawa is what makes Iwaizumi human, what makes all of us human. So therefore, the true meaning of this is to say that Iwaizumi fell, wholeheartedly, completely, in love with Oikawa.
> 
>  
> 
> This is my first Haikyuu!! fanfiction (or first fanfiction for anything oh god) please be nice

**1\. eyes**

His sleeping face is beautiful. His head on the other's lap, eyelashes slightly curled and looking soft on his face. Tiny freckles you would never see unless you were looking closely are splattered all over his cheeks. Mouth partially open, eyes closed, he looks innocent, unlike the him who constantly gives out insincere smiles. 

It hurts to watch him sometimes, to see him shining so bright. On the court, when he serves a service ace, when he picks at Hajime's nerves for fun. For a split second on court, he shows his true, unadulterated smile and Hajime can't wait to see it again. He's too bright to look at, hard to look at him, but it's even harder to turn away. Haijime feels like he's going to go blind.

But right now, relaxed, carefree, and most importantly, in Hajime's arms. That's all he could ever ask for.

It falls.

 

**2\. hands**

He doesn't want to touch him, or that's what he tells himself anyway. 

But when his head is in his lap, when his silky hair is just in reach, he can't help but sink his fingers into it, carding his fingers through his hair. He'll never be able to hold him like this, not when Oikawa is awake. 

When they walk home, Oikawa will slip his hands into Hajime's, pressing his warm body up against him, not knowing what it does to Hajime. Not knowing that his skin burns with a fire he can't see, not knowing that his lungs burn with an ash he did not breathe in, not knowing that he's suffocating with the pain. That warm constant, exciting yet terrifying. Electrifying.

But Hajime can't deny himself this little thing. Can't deny himself the touch that burns, that suffocates, not when he knows he loves the one who gave him the unseen scars, not when he can see the happiness that permeates Oikawa's face when he let's him hold his hand with minimal grumbling. 

His skin can burn, his lungs can collapse, his brain could stop thinking, but he'd do it all for that rare, genuine smile. 

It falls.

 

**3\. ears**

Hajime's ears are tuned to his voice. He recognizes the calling of a name he doesn't really hate, from a person he has never ever disliked, despite the words he has said. He recognizes the warm laughter from him when Oikawa sees him from across the street when, no, _if_ they are not together. 

When Oikawa is silent, it's unnerving. It makes Hajime's skin crawl, makes him uneasy. Silence means Oikawa is concentrating too hard and Hajime can't do anything about him. It makes him feel weak. Maybe that's why he can't be the one for Oikawa. He's weak. 

But now, Oikawa's silence means he's asleep, and this silence is more welcoming than the sound of a boy pushing himself too hard, too much. Hajime's fist clenches. Is it possible to love someone so much that it hurts?

It falls.

 

**4\. nose**

Chocolate. That's how Oikawa smells like. 

("How do you even know what he smells like?" Matsukawa had asked once, Hanamaki sniggering in the background. "Doesn't that border the line of a _little_ creepy?"

"Well, he eats a lot of chocolate. It wasn't hard to pin point the smell," Hajime shrugs the question off, but he can feel the tip of his ears burning.

"It's because Iwa-chan loves me, right?~" The playful tone makes Hajime want to scream because of course Oikawa is right, he's always right about things that concern other's psychology. But the hint of insecurity stops him. Almost as if Oikawa needs assurance.

"Whatever, Trashykawa."

He doesn't say anything about the fact that he has had Oikawa in headlock so many times, has had his warm body pressed up against his so many times that it feels right, that he would know it was Oikawa's scent immediately.

He thinks if Oikawa were ever abducted by aliens, he'd be able to know who was the real Oikawa in seconds.)

Chocolate brown hair, chocolate brown eyes, loves chocolate. Haijime is drowning, turning him into a clichéd-wreck, a ship sinking down, down, down.

It falls.

 

**5\. heart**

The fact is, Hajime knows him. Has known him since they were bug-catching age and has known he was in love with Oikawa since the day he realized what he felt when Oikawa's attention was on others was jealousy. 

He knows about Oikawa's complexity, how he hides himself under multiple layers of masks. He knows how Oikawa, who has always been number one, doesn't ever want to be number two. He knows how Oikawa trains so hard but never flies higher than his capabilities. He knows his pain, his anguish that he will never be as good as Ushijima, never be a genius like Kageyama. He knows Oikawa.

Hajime wants to hold him. He wants to tell Oikawa that he'll always be number one in Hajime's life. He wants to tell Oikawa that he doesn't need to act all the time, no, not around him. He wants to tell Oikawa that underneath the many layers of crocodile tears, fake laughter and smiles-for-the-camera, at the very core is what Hajime loves about him. At the very core, pure, immense, uncontrollable love for those he holds dear. And one of those people is Hajime. 

He feels selfish, for wanting what he can never have, for not wanting people to touch what isn't his. But even when the multitudes of fangirls surround Oikawa he finds it hard to breathe, finds it hard to unclench his fingers from the tight grip it has around his bag strap.

He finds it hard to breathe when he Oikawa is faking it.

Oikawa, who sits on the top of the world yet carries the entire world. When he's sleeping, he looks like the weight of his shoulders have been lifted. Hajime wants to help him carry it. 

It falls.

 

 

 **6\. he loves you, too.**

"Iwa-chan?" Oikawa says as he awakes from his nap on Hajime's lap. He sits up and leans against the Hajime's chest instead.

"I love you, Iwa-chan." 

_But not as how I want you to love me_.

His hand comes up to rest on Hajime's stomach, and he closes his eyes, his breath slowing down again, puffs of it blowing against Hajime's chest. Murmuring a soft "Iwa-chan...", he falls back asleep.

 _Probably_.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry it's so short :P on a side note there are spoilers for the next part in the series? don't read them if you don't want to risk it. thanks for reading! (I'm surprised you're still here.)
> 
> SPOILERS.
> 
> The sentences at the beginning of every section are as if a narrator's voice. Narrators are clairvoyant, they know everything going on. So yes, Oikawa is in love with Iwaizumi. The ' _Probably_ ' was to throw people off.


End file.
